“How did it get this bad?” This was the first thing I asked myself when I was sitting on the floor crying my eyes out. This was also the time I realized I had it rock bottom.
A few months ago I got diagnosed with an eating disorder that I apparently had for 10 years. Along with an eating disorder I have OCD which….let’s face it, feels like hell sometimes. After I was diagnosed with my eating disorder a lot of things in my life started making sense. It was almost like there were reasons for things, yet no reason for why I got stuck with these mental illnesses.
I decided to really look after myself and start taking everything more seriously. I started taking care of my body and respecting. I knew I couldn’t carry on the way I was going because I was just not the best person to be around. All I knew was that I didn’t want to be angry anymore. I needed some normalcy back.
At this point in my life I’m definitely not where I would like to be. Mentally and physically I am still struggling with a lot. However; when I think about that night when I had hit rock bottom, all I know is that I am so glad I’m not there anymore. Of course there are still pictures that make me cringe and days where I feel like my head is about to explode, but at least I am alive.
Step by step, day by day.
Quote I’ve been liking: “Yes, it is all in my head… that’s where my brain is.”