Why I’m leaving LA.

lifestyle, mental health

In case you haven’t heard, it’s Mental Health Awareness week. You might wonder what any of this has to do with the post title. Well, surprisingly it has a lot to do with it.

I was born and raised in a suburb in Los Angeles, CA. Now a days it’s pretty hard to call anywhere a suburb around here. I love where I grew up. The great thing is I was close enough to all the great things you’re exposed to in LA, but still able to enjoy quiet neighborhoods around people you grow up with. Being 24 now, I’ve had the privledgr of enjoying my early 20’s in a city filled with things to do at all hours. Now that I’ve had my fun, I’ve realized that it’s time for me to leave this place. Just because I’m still young it doesn’t mean I need to be in a big city going out all the time. An age is just a number and you should never feel like you HAVE to live your life a certain way.

When I was 19 I got diagnosed with OCD and since then I’ve had an eating disorder and som physical health issues. These past few years have been a struggle trying to not stress over daily life. I’ve always been attracted to quiet towns with nature and good old mannerisms. Since I was younger, living in the south has been a dream of mine. About a year ago I decided I was not happy and it was time for me to put my health first. This is when I made it a plan and goal to move. Since then I have been working extremely hard trying to get out of here to save my sanity. As grateful as I am for this city, I still hold a lot of resentment towards it. A lot of my anger and stress doesn’t get better when I am sitting in traffic or living with my family because trying to get a place out here is just ridiculous and not worth it. I’m definitely not the person who is willing to live with roommates. I need my space and I need a small city that doesn’t take over an hour to get across. It’s time for me to make a change.

Since I decided to leave (which will be in a few weeks), I have gotten some positive responses and some negative. People really want to tear you down just because they might not get your decisions or when they are simply too afraid to do things themselves. I’ve decided to only listen to positive people and mainly just listen to myself. This is something I want to do and nothing anybody says will change that. I know what’s best for my happiness. Don’t forget that YOU MATTER. Your health relies so much on your happiness so please take care of yourself. Put yourself first. There is nothing wrong with that.

Thank you for reading. I hope you will follow my moving journey with me. I will be posting about my road trip and moving into my first apartment by myself. Follow if you’d like to keep up.

Until next time,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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These really DON’T matter in adulthood.

lifestyle

As a teenager or young adult a lot of us think that whatever we decide or do now is going to live on with us forever! Growing up, I’ve realized that this in fact is NOT true. I spent many days stressing over things that honestly weren’t and still aren’t a big deal. Maybe it’s getting more comfortable with who I am or maybe people just become a lot more sensible in adulthood (one can hope).  If you are a teen reading this, I want to ease you with some of the things you might be going through. The truth of the matter is that whatever you are going through you probably won’t even remember a couple years from now. Don’t worry, I’m here to make life a bit easier for you and let you know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me, these don’t and shouldn’t matter!

  1. How many social gatherings you attend: This does not determine your cool factor.
  2. What “click” you should hangout with: Majority of people don’t really stay friends.
  3. How much you spend on materialistic items: Oh trust me, life gets more expensive.
  4. Planning your elaborate future: Trust me when I say… nobody’s life will go exactly as planned.
  5. WHEN you have your first kiss or lose your virginity: Nobody is comparing numbers in adulthood. If they are, they have some serious growing up to do. Take your time and do things as you want to. Years from now if all is done, you’ll realize how big of a deal it isn’t and life just goes on. Trust me, you’re not missing out on anything (and my nickname was “prude” in high school)… I know what it’s like to be on both sides of things.

The truth is everything comes with happiness. You’ll realize how little these things in life really are when you find your inner peace. You will start enjoying your life so much more that you won’t need a stamp of approval or reassurance for any of it. Of course, this all comes in time. Be patient with yourself…always.

Thanks for stopping by,

Suzy

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Seattle Trip Round-Up!

travel

In March I took a trip to Seattle for the first time. This was also the first time in a while that I went on a trip alone. Here’s how it went:

I got to Seattle at night, so the next day I got up early and walked to the Columbia Center. I also happened to walk 69 steps up the Columbia Center to raise awareness and funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society…that’s actually why I was in Seattle.

This was my view from the top!

Here I am with team captain and youtuber, Monica Church. She’s the reason I found out about The Big Climb. Monica did the climb last year and made vlogs of her training. She is really talented and her videos can really relate to you if you are a fellow millenial.

(She also has a main channel)

My hostel was by the Pike Place Market, so I walked by it a couple of times.

I met some awesome people through the climb who are from all over the USA.

We ate at Joey Kitchen…yes, it was delicious!

Saw this lovely guitar piece of art at the Pop Culture Museum!

Managed to get a picture of the Space Needle along with some other buildings.

This was my view from where I took that picture of the Space Needle. It is also where I had a peaceful setting to write this blog post.

 

Seattle was great and I’m glad I got to visit there at last. The climb was an amazing experience that I will talk about for a long time. It makes me feel good that I did something nice for a GREAT cause. I will definitely be back at it again next year.

 

Happy Weekend,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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How to find the job you WANT!

career, lifestyle

Give it up for adulthood everyone! If you’re looking for a new job or just graduated and need to get that money flowing… flowing? who says that. Also, with all the bills in this world that isn’t too easy. Anyways, I’ve got some tips that have helped me on my job search. I haven’t mentioned what I do on here, but I am a gymnastics coach. I have been coaching for many years so when it comes to my job, I’ve had some good luck based on my experience. However, I’ve had other jobs as well with little experience so I’ve gone through the job search ordeal as well. Here are a few things to get you started.

  1. Create and upload your resume on a job search engine: My go to and one of the most popular sites is Indeed. If you upload your resume, employers will be able to search for what they are looking for and you might just pop up! It makes it much easier if you are too busy to search and apply for jobs during the day. Don’t worry, they do block out personal information like your address. A more professional job search engine would be LinkedIn.This is like a professional profile you can make and connect with those in the industry you desire.
  2. Gain some EXPERIENCE: I decided a while back that school wasn’t for me. Of course depending on the route you want to take in life, school might be something you NEED for your future. Regardless, experience in your career preference is what most employers are looking for. This means you might have to settle with working for free. Volunteering is one way to gain that experience. There are so many places that offer volunteer hours now. You can even volunteer to do admin work with a company you might see yourself having a future with. Here is one website you can search opportunities on. If you are in school, try interning! Ask your professors if they recommend any internships or if they need help with anything in that field themselves.
  3. Network: This isn’t always easy and might seem a bit intimidating. Networking is one way to not only meet people in your industry, but gain knowledge from their path. Try to attend events within your field and don’t be afraid to mingle. Ask questions and find out if this really is something you want to pursue.
  4. Search online for some tips! Just like you are doing right now by reading this post, there are so many people willing to offer a helping hand. If you are interested in a few career paths, try searching on youtube for people who are in that industry. There are so many videos that give you an honest behind the scenes of what it takes to “make it”. It will be one way for you to test out if you should be continuing your current career choice.
  5. Be open to change: I’m sure by now you have heard that you’ve got to start from somewhere. Be flexible with your jobs and be willing to wear different hats. For example, I’ve been open to work at day cares and do admin work while coaching. This gives me more child care experience in a different environment, AND administrative experience that I can use in a different industry if willing. Don’t be afraid of change and remember that all good things do actually take time.

Best of luck to you on your job search. Remember to be patient with yourself. Everybody’s life is different so don’t compare yours with those around you.

 

Have a great week,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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This is what therapy is like: What to watch out for!

lifestyle, mental health

Therapy comes in different shapes and sizes. This is why it’s important to “shop around” and not lose hope. I’ve heard good experiences of therapy and bad experiences. I myself have had a bit of both. Here are a few questions I think someone who hasn’t tried therapy (or who has) would like answered.

[I am no expert and have no background in psychology. These are my opinions from a patients point of view.]

How do you find a therapist? 

If you are planning to go through insurance, most insurance plans have a search engine for professionals on there websites. I just searched online for my first therapist and got super lucky. Reviews will tell you a lot also…do your research!

How do you CHOOSE a therapist?

If able, the best time to make a decision on a therpist is when you have seen more than a one. You don’t want to settle for the first therapist you see unless you get a great vibe off of them and feel comfortable. I went back to my first therapist after I had seen a couple of other ones due to insurance. I knew she was my pick because I felt totally comfortable sharing things with her and I could tell she wasn’t after my money. If you’ve seen a couple then you can ultimately tell who would work best for you. I’ve been with casual/cool, more reserved, and bored therapists. Yes, bored…this brings me to the next question.

When is a therapist NOT a good fit?

If your therapist is constantly yawning during your session, please find a new one. If it’s one or two fine, but multiple and during every session is NOT a good sign.  You don’t want to seem like a chore for your therapist. They should be engaged and present during the conversations you share.

Is therapy expensive?

If you find someone who is in network with your provider than insurance should cover some if not all of your visit. If a therapist is out of network, you may still have a chance to get reimbursed per visit. My therapist isn’t covered with my insurance, but I decided to pay regardless because I think she is great and I wouldn’t want to see someone else. Also, most therapists provide a sliding scale. This means if money is tight, they may be willing to charge you less hourly than normal. It doesn’t hurt to ask!

I hope this is helpful to anyone who is seeking therapy or is in an uncertain situation with a therapist. I personally LOVE therapy and don’t view it as a chore. Being able to talk to someone who doesn’t judge and isn’t around you all the time makes me feel really confident with everything I say. To let it all out in a safe environment has many perks. Don’t be afraid to give it a try if you are hesitant.

Happy Weekend,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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10 Gift Ideas For Every Occasion!

lifestyle, Uncategorized

One thing to know about me is that I am obsessed with gift giving! The whole process of getting creative and searching for the perfect gift excites me. Usually we find ourselves giving gifts to the same people each year, so I found some ways to make gift giving a bit more interesting. I try to get gifts for people that mean something. For example, getting a gift relatable to a shared interest I have with a friend. If I have a friend who is obsessed with country music like I am then I get song lyrics printed on a shirt. Not only would my friend like the gift, but it’s more sentimental because it isn’t something I could give to everyone. My love for gifting has given me the drive to write this post. If you’d like some more ideas….keep scrolling.

  1. Concert/Event Tickets: Definitely my most favorite gift to give and the MOST memorable.
  2. Booking Activities: A day of horseback riding or wine and paint. Quality time can be a gift within itself.
  3. Pamper, Pamper, Pamper: Life is busy so a nice day at a spa can be much needed.
  4. Personalized Item: Like I mentioned above…a shirt with a favorite quote or lyric, a mug with an inside joke on it, and even some nice jewelry. Etsy can be GREAT!
  5. Beneficial Gifts: Is your friend moving or getting a new car? Get something that will help them out (even if that means a gift card to homegoods).
  6. DIY: When all else fails, do it yourself. A beautiful photo collage has the potential to bring tears to ones eyes. Here is an example from fellow blogger, Talia!
  7. Splurge on a trip: If you’re looking for an impressive gift for a big occasion, a trip away can be the thing for you. Again, life get’s busy and a break can be useful.
  8. Enroll in a class: Similar to activities, but think of what your friend is interested in and get them a class that can help. (ex: baking, pottery, instruments, & etc.)
  9. Surprises: Not everyone likes surprise parties, but if you surprised your friend at work to take them out to lunch, I’m sure they won’t mind. Deliveries are always nice too!
  10. Small goodies: A lot of a little is another favorite. What I mean is getting many small gifts that your friend likes. I’ve done car scents, candles, body sprays, and a gift card to their favorite coffee shop for example. All useful and can show how much you really know your friend.

I hope this was helpful if you made it this far. Let me know if you have any ideas you’d like to add on!

Best Wishes,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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Life After An Eating Disorder.

mental health, Uncategorized

*Sensitive post about eating disorders*

Of course by “life after an eating disorder,” I mean working everyday to not act on my thoughts. I was thinking the other day how my eating disorder recovery isn’t perfect. There are times where I realize I’m not utilizing everything I learned in treatment. The coping skills can be used more and I’m not going to lie, I’ve skipped a meal here and there. The truth is when I say “skipped” I honestly mean just didn’t have time to eat or simply forgot. This brings me to the next conclusion I came to. When I was thinking about recovery I found out that I don’t purposely act on behaviors like I used to. Like before if I skipped a meal it was because the voice in my head told me to. This is when I realized the moment I knew I was slowly healing was when my eating disorder stopped taking over my life. I no longer let ED thoughts take over my mind and control my every move. I find happiness in other things now besides through the way I look. I believe in life after an eating disorder. I believe that one can fully recover. Am I fully recovered? No, and I think it will be a while until I am. However, now I’m willing to put in the work to get there.

 

Love yourself first,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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Medication and Mental Health: Is it worth it?

health, lifestyle, mental health, Uncategorized

There are two types of people when it comes to mental health. Those who believe in medication and those who don’t. When I go diagnosed with OCD 5 years ago I was against taking medication. The public would always say how it is addictive and wrong so I just grew up to believe it was wrong. The strange thing is not very many seem to think taking medication for your physical health is wrong, so why is it so terrible all of a sudden when it comes to mental health?

Before and after being diagnosed I tried to work really hard without medication. A lot of frustration, some success, and more frustration went into that. There is a lot of opportunity to make progress without medication, but it isn’t for everyone. After I gave it a try for about a year, I realized I needed some extra help. I tried a couple of different medications before I found what works best for me. I’ve been on and off with it since. There are times where I feel like I’ve got it and I am putting in the work. There are also times where I’m so busy with life that I just let the medication do the work for me. You see, OCD isn’t the only mental health issue I’ve had. Sometimes it is exhausting to have to deal with all of this so the medication allows me to live more than suffer through the daily rituals. Between this, my ADD, and the eating disorder I once had… I don’t think there is anything wrong with needed a little more help.

The down side of medication is side effects. I’ve had many, but eventually they do go away. It’s difficult when first starting and its difficult trying to ease off the meds. I definitely think it might not be for everyone. I also don’t think people should be ashamed if they do decide they need a bit more of a boost. At the end of the day I think it all comes down to your health. That’s not something to mess around with so listen to your instincts and do what feels right for you.

Thanks for stopping by,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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How To Get Motivated In The Morning!

health, lifestyle, Uncategorized

In my past blog  post I wrote about spending all day in bed and not feeling guilty about it. This week I had time to rest, but decided I’m going to put in some extra effort to break ties with my bed. If I’m having an decent health day, these are the things that work best for me:

Copy of Pastel Pink Floral Border Personal Planner

  • Morning Shower: There is nothing like coming out fresh and clean out of the shower, ready to take on the world. It almost makes you feel like you have your life together.

 

  • Doing my hair and makeup: I personally enjoy spending time on my makeup, but not so much the hair. When I randomly decide to get all done up, I feel like I should be doing or going somewhere… and eventually I do.

 

  • Getting out…even if that means in your pj’s: What I mean with this one is getting out to run a home errand, like taking out the trash. It gets you up and once I’m up it’s hard to get back in bed. One thing I realized that helps me is taking my dog for a walk. If you’re still having trouble, set yourself up the night before with a task you MUST complete in the morning (ex: parking on the wrong side of the street, so you need to get up and move your car for street cleaning.)

 

  • Give yourself something to look forward to: This can be a certain breakfast item you can’t wait to eat or an appointment you made to pamper yourself! I usually make y appointments early on purpose so I get my day started early!

 

Of course, it’s not the end of the world if you’re not a morning person. Hopefully you found something here that might help if you need to be up early.

 

Best of Luck,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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Special Effects Hair Dye!

beauty, Uncategorized

Experimenting with your own hair is probably the most common cure of boredom. I decided to have some fun and dye most of my hair purple. I started this process about a month ago. My favorite hair dye for “out there” colors is Special Effects. It is long lasting and you don’t have to use peroxide with it!!! I first decided to bleach my ends and add only a little bit of color to the ends. Bleaching your own air can turn out terrible, but I don’t have the greatest hair naturally so I don’t mind messing with it. I use an even amount of professional hair bleach and 40 peroxide. Once I bleached my hair I decided to do a dark red color named blood red. Of course, I changed my mind. Once the red faded a bit I decided to mix pimpin purple and cupcake pink together. It came out to this really pretty dark pink/red color. Of course, I changed my mind…again. A couple of days ago I ended up bleaching most of hair (minus the roots and ends with color) and I dyed it pimpin purple. For now, it’s a keeper.

[Left To Right: Cupcake Pink | Pimpin Purple | Blood Red]

The pimpin purple seems to be the one that stains the most. This thing does not want to wash off. I’m not mad about it because that means it will last longer. With any color like this, you can expect it to stain your bath temporarily. It shouldn’t leave any permanent damage. I used about a half bottle for my hair given I have relatively fine hair. If you’re interested in trying special effects, you can find it here.

Until next time,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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