This past summer I wrote about moving out of state and moving back (twice). Moving back because I felt like I was rushing and not as financially stable as I could’ve been.
A lot of it is comparing myself to other 25 year olds and thinking:
“If I don’t do this, how am I an adult.”
“Why is my life going at such a slow pace?”
And then reality hit and I realized if I have to come home for another year just so I can have a positive experience next time around, I’m up for it.
This mean I had to be willing to work and work some more. Stop caring where I am career wise or geographically. It’s funny because everyone my age feels this way too. Yet, we still compare ourselves to each other!
After coming home, relapsing from an ED (which I also talked about), and trying to live a life that is not mine, I’ve learned to be more present. How? By taking a break from social media! I was never invested in my Instagram or Snapchat, but I did look at what others post. This meant looking at their “happy” “thought out” lives. It turns out I actually don’t care anymore. I’m just not all for the perfect filter and 20 minute photo shoot with my coffee, so people can think I’m happy thing. I’d rather post reality.
It’s so nice to be able to just live my life and not know what other are doing unless I really care. Which then I’m texting and calling those people, so I don’t need to check their feed.
Another thing that has helped me stay present has been staying busy (in a good way). Not the type of busy where you try to avoid all your problems. The type of busy where I’m taking care of myself. I’ve been working a lot which will be beneficial to moving again. This makes me happy because it makes it more realistic that I’ll have a chance to be on my own. Another helpful way of staying busy has been working out. I have been trying to workout at least 3 times a week and it has made my mood a lot better. It has also provided me with a lot of energy to get through the days.
Trying to live in the moment can almost seem like a chore at times. The truth is it shouldn’t be like that. Life is tough so we would rather block out the negatives, but that doesn’t do us any good. We need to make moves to change the things we don’t like around. Be patient and eventually it will be so natural that you won’t even remember what life was like when you cared so much about what others were doing.
Happy Almost Thanksgiving!
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Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]