Hi again! I hope you had a great thanksgiving (if you’re American). Back to reality and it just so happened I got the idea to write about my experience without medication. I’ve been noticing some of my behaviors getting stronger so I figured this would be a good time to explain what that’s like.
After being diagnosed with OCD 6 years ago, I have taken medication for it on and off for 5 years. I don’t usually choose to get off medication. Most of the time it’s because I switch insurance or just no longer have insurance. This time was no different. I do believe in medication like I mentioned in this post explaining why. OCD is one of the hardest mental disorders I’ve had because it seems to be the one that never gives me a break. Without medication, it makes my compulsions/obsessions a lot stronger. When I’m in a better place in my life I know that I will be able to fight without the medications. With all my other health issues, I just don’t have the energy to do it all by myself.
Since being off meds for a couple of months, some behaviors are getting louder. One thing with OCD is that I repeat a lot of words over and over again in my head. This is been happening a lot more lately which causes me to lose focus. I’ve also had more trouble dealing with germs. It’s become my main concern when communicating with people again. When things get stressful my emotions are all over the place. So, I’ve been noticing myself being a lot more emotional than usual. Yes, that means crying from having a bad day or being angry for no reason. Before all my health issues, when I got off medication I would have a lot more energy. As you might know anti-depressants can make you very sleepy. However, due to all my health problems I’m always tired, so I didn’t notice a difference in my energy this time around.
Once I re-enroll for insurance this month, I look forward to finally being on my daily med routine again. It’s going to help keep my mind from wandering and allow me to focus on my other daily “life things”. When the time comes where I can manage my ocd symptoms a lot better without medication (this means having more time), I know I will be able to do it. Medication isn’t everything, but there is no shame on being on it if you need the extra help.
Do you have any thoughts on medication?
Thanks for reading,
Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]