Eating disorders are MORE than just a NUMBER.

mental health, Uncategorized

*There may be some sensitive content for some viewers. Information/details on eating disorders.*

I dealt with an eating disorder for 10 years. Most of the time I had disordered eating patterns, but all of the time I had body image issues. I know people who haven’t experienced an eating disorder or recovery may think that it all just revolves around the number. The more weight you lose the worse your disorder actually is. In fact, this is why I didn’t think I had an eating disorder until my 10th year of dealing with it. I’m glad there is more talk on mental health so I would like to just touch up on some things that may come along with an eating disorder.

  • It is a mental health issue: This isn’t just a physical problem. There is a chemical imbalance in ones brain which causes them to think and feel different. Of course this then can lead to physical problems. Some of which include an unhealthy weight, poor dental hygiene, bone issues, heart issues, and etc.
    • Body dysmorphia is part of an eating disorder: The way one thinks about themselves is very important to identifying an eating disorder. I personally pictured myself very different in my head compared to how I really looked in person. It can also be an obsession with physical experience that can take up most of a persons time.
    • There are many different types of an eating disorder: Speaking from my own experience, I had binge eating disorder. What this meant is that I would spend days not eating full meals and then decided to eating everything in site in one day. Along with this I had obsessive thoughts about my appearance.
    • You don’t have to be at a certain weight to have an eating disorder: Everybody’s body is different. This means everyone will have a healthy body weight that may not be the same as the person next to them. My weight fluctuated a lot, but I was never really thin or really overweight. I looked healthy so I thought I was. This is what I meant by it being a mental illness. Just because someone doesn’t look sick doesn’t mean they aren’t.

    I hope this gives a little insight on eating disorders. Please feel free to share your own thoughts or anything I might’ve left out in the comments below. If you or anyone you know might be suffering with an eating disorder, check out the website below for some more information:

    National Eating Disorders Association

    Thank you for reading,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    My Biggest Fear…


    Happy, sad, confused, excited, angry, and scared. As humans we feel it all. Despite feeling it all, we sometimes don’t like to show our emotions or even talk about them. I recently watched a Zoella vlog that opened up a conversation about her greatest fear. I think this is a great topic to bring up. It’s nice to be reminded that being unsure is a part of life. Not having it all together right now or ever is completely fine and actually normal. It is okay not to be okay.

    For a big chunk of my life I have dealt with mental disorders and now physical as well. Being constantly surrounded by these issues day after day it was pretty hard for me to be scared of anything. I had to get thick skin from a young age. Now I’ve realized that there might be a few things I’m scared of, even if I am scared to admit it. Well, I guess that’s the first one. I don’t like to admit weakness because weakness scares me. We can’t be strong all the time because if we could that would mean we are capable of handling any situation, but we can’t.

    Another fear of mine has to do with more of my future. For a while I’ve known that I want to be a mother. Now, I don’t think that’s the ONLY thing I’m meant to be or do. I’ve just always loved the idea of being a parent and I think I would be pretty good at it. I guess I’m just scared of not having a kid of my own. What if I don’t meet someone I can start a family with? I know there are always other options. I just don’t want to live my life with “what ifs”.

    Lastly, I’m scared planning too much that I never live in the moment. It’s easy to look back at the past year and ask myself why I didn’t just enjoy the moments for what they were. My brain seems to be focusing on other things and doesn’t give me the chance to enjoy my life for what it is sometimes. One of my goals is to just worry about now or even better, enjoy what is now.

    Do you have a greatest fear? Let’s not be scared to talk about the hard stuff.

    Thanks for stopping by,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]


    Coping skills for anything.


    Coping skills: Methods a person uses for stressful situations.

    Finding the right coping skills for myself hasn’t always been easy. It took me a while to be creative with what to do during some not so easy times. Here are a few things that I’ve found helpful and hopefully you will too! 

    Journaling: Writing can be great therapy! This being a blog, I’m sure many people on here would find this coping skill helpful Writing your thoughts down is an easy way to let it all out and looking back at it sometimes is a good reminder that things can get better.  

    Knitting: This coping skill is one that I learned while dealing with an eating disorder. I’ve found that knitting keeps me busy when I’m thinking of binge eating or just keeping me distracted from intrusive thoughts. There a lot of video tutorials on YouTube if you want to learn how to knit! 

    Podcasts: Podcasts just like all great coping skills are a great distraction. Besides it being a distraction, it is great motivation. Podcasts cover all sort of topics and it can be helpful to hear stories of people going through a similar situation that you have been going through. Podcasts can be found on YouTube or there are quite a few free ones on iTunes. 

    Puzzles: Puzzles can be fun and very productive! Once you get started with one it’s hard to stop. 

    Movies/TV Shows: This one is probably not the most productive coping skill, but it is the most available one. I love to find a great movie or get sucked into a tv show when times are hard. It will keep me occupied from constantly thinking the worst. 

    I hope these coping skills give you some ideas. If you have any of your own, please let me know in the comments. It’s always great to find new ones! 

    -Suzy [Fragile, yet fearless]

    Never too old…


    If there is anything I’ve learned about having a journal, it is that writing is VERY therapeutic. Most people think of teenage girls keeping secrets from their parents when a journal is mentioned. I happen to think of venting all of life’s “headache” problems out and allowing a peace of mind. 

    I started keeping a journal during the painful times of my eating disorder. It was a way for me to journal what I was eating because I had to see it on paper in order for me to identify that I had a problem. Now, I think my journal is great for writing down when I feel a certain way so that I can later go back and figure out why or what made me feel that way. With everything that is happening contstantly it can be my way of storing memories. Remember, you are never too old to keep a journal. 


    (journal is from Nordstrom Rack)