Why I moved back home…AGAIN.

lifestyle, Uncategorized

Somehow I’m always back here again. I’ve written a couple of blog posts about moving out of state, coming back, and moving out again. In this one I am explaining why I am back.

This time a longer temporary move back home. The plan is to be here for another year and then officially move out FOR GOOD. After the last couple of tries, I am dedicated to make it happen in this next chapter.

Moving out of state was hard. Knowing absolutely no one and trying to make ends meet. The first time, I freaked out. Reality set in and I was really hard on myself. I cried for days and decided it was rushed. Moving back, I thought I would give other locations a try. My heart kept telling me Nashville was the place I needed to be. After spending a couple of months back home I decided to give it another go. Let’s just say finances weren’t on my side and I needed to make a realistic decision.

After working for a week and expecting to make it okay. I started to think about my future. By future, I meant my 30’s. The truth is I didn’t want to be a 30 year old in debt from credit cards that I spent too much on. Staying in Nashville meant using my credit the first couple of months as I had not saved up enough. Although I was desperate to move out due to a rocky home life, it wasn’t the best timing. I thought if I could live rent free for another year and pay off some debt, why not?

Almost two months later from returning and I’ve realized some old habits have come back to haunt me. Being home and just in this city in general gets me in a bad mood. I get angry a lot and have been feeling that sense of fight or flight again. This has made me take extra measures to stay away from old behaviors. Having the ability to take care of myself helps quite a bit. If I had to work all day to pay rent I know I wouldn’t have that chance.

Being at home isn’t the easiest, but it is the best thing for me at this point in my life. I think it’s important to stop comparing myself to others and just do what’s best for my future and PRESENT. That was the hardest thing to accept during this whole process.

If you’d like to see more of my posts, follow (fragile, yet fearless) to see a post every Monday and Friday!

Thanks for sticking around,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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Sometimes, being an adult is intimidating!

lifestyle, Uncategorized
  • Let’s face it, adulthood isn’t what we thought it would be like. Especially when you’re first starting to figure life out. Although it may seem like things are tough now, it won’t always be like this. Remember there is always still HOPE! I know it sounds cliche, but if you read my other posts you’ll see that I haven’t always had it easy. Although that’s been the case, I’m still here giving myself the chance to live the life I deserve. Oops, I didn’t mean to get so deep. Anyways… Don’t let these things stop you from getting where you want to be.
    1. Applying for a credit card: I definitely thought I would be great with my credit. At the beginning, I actually was. Then life happened and here we are. So, here’s what I learned that can lower your credit score: don’t apply for too many credit cards too early, and make sure not to spend more than 30% of your limit.
      Getting health insurance: Unfortunately having health issues out of the blue are pretty common. Whether a minor injury or more serious problems, it’s always best to make sure you’re covered! If money is an issue you can apply for more affordable coverage. Whatever the case, GET INSURANCE.
      Meeting new people: As an adult it can be harder yet easier to meet new people. You see in school, it’s easy to meet people because you’re stuck with them in the same class. As a working adult, you actually have to put in more effort to make new friends. I DO think it’s better to meet people as an adult because you can surround yourself with people you actually want to be around and not people you are obligated to be around. Look at the brighter side of it!
      Being accountable for yourself: I am referring to booking your own appointments and making sure you show up. What helps me is using my day off to call all the places I need to and schedule them. Afterwards, adding it to the calendar on my phone or writing it in a planner helps remind me to get there! Next thing you know, you are one responsible adult.

    Every period we go through in life will have it’s ups and downs, but it’s nice to know you aren’t alone. That’s why I wanted to write this, so others can avoid the mistakes I wasn’t told about. My best adulting advice: Things will only be as intimidating as you make them.

    If you have anything else to add, feel free to add them in the comments below!

    Thanks for reading,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    Thoughts on turning 25!

    lifestyle, Uncategorized

    A while ago I wrote a blog post about my fear of getting older. It stemmed from a need to have my life together and not struggling to make ends meet. Turns out the 20’s aren’t “old”. It’s just the constant struggle of how to act, what age to act, and when to act a certain way. As anyone else, I’ve gone through a lot of changes this past year.

    A couple of days ago I turned 25 and now I see aging in a completely different light… well, sort of. Instead of fearing it, lately I’ve been excited to get older. Some of this still comes from the pressure of needing to have it all together. I’m hoping in 10 years I will be a lot more comfortable than I am now. You know, having a career and living in a city I love. I’ve decided to accept the 20’s for what they are. A learning period of mistakes, realizations, and understanding the what I want out of life. I don’t mean what I want to do or when I want to settle down. I mean doing things I love without second guessing myself. Crying when I want to cry, laughing when I want to laugh, and ignoring the voice in my head that tells me otherwise. It’s like a constant battle in my head with negative judgment. After moving and coming back home I’ve realized that things aren’t going to be easy. I need to push myself to allow myself to struggle because ultimately that’s how I will learn. Especially with all the health issues I’ve had to deal with, I know now I just need to GO FOR IT. Sometimes I might fall but at least I won’t have to be wondering what if.

    So whoever is reading this, embrace where you are now in life. Don’t worry about things that haven’t even happened yet. There is a reason why people tell you to not compare your life with anyone else’s.

    Thanks for stopping by,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    I’m Moving…Again. Ego aside.

    Uncategorized

    One month ago I made a move to a new state. I lasted one week, cried for a long time, and came running back home. I came back with mixed feelings. Being in a your 20’s is a funny thing. Feeling like I needed to simply have my shit together so settling for a little less on my paycheck wasn’t cutting it for me. I got scared and thought rent would lead to more problems. After being home for a month now, I’ve decided I quit too early. I gave up on myself and was looking for comfort. Familiarity is my comfort. As much as I wanted to get out of my hometown, it was comfortable.

    It’s not easy trying new things. It’s not easy packing your whole life and starting a new way of life in a new city. Turns out, life isn’t easy. There are going to be many times where I will be placed into uncomfortable situations, but if I never am when will I grow?  This sounded less cheesier in my head. Point is, I need to fight for what I want. I need to work hard and put my pride aside. I will have plenty of time to be a business owner and live the life I’ve always wanted. In order to get that I need to work my face off right now so that in the future I can find new comfort and familiarity.  There is more to life than money and your career. How do I know this? Because after spending these past couple of years miserable in a city I once loved and dealing with various health problems, things become a bit more clear.

    If there is one thing you will take away from this blog I hope it is that everyone is fighting a battle. You are not alone. I’ve heard of so many experiences of people who tried to start over but had to face rejection, long hours, and life lessons to get to where they are now. Stop comparing your life to others on instagram and do what you need to do to make YOURSELF happy. It won’t always be what you want, but it will be what you will need. I hope that makes sense.

    Best of luck to you all!

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    Why I’m leaving LA.

    lifestyle, mental health

    In case you haven’t heard, it’s Mental Health Awareness week. You might wonder what any of this has to do with the post title. Well, surprisingly it has a lot to do with it.

    I was born and raised in a suburb in Los Angeles, CA. Now a days it’s pretty hard to call anywhere a suburb around here. I love where I grew up. The great thing is I was close enough to all the great things you’re exposed to in LA, but still able to enjoy quiet neighborhoods around people you grow up with. Being 24 now, I’ve had the privledgr of enjoying my early 20’s in a city filled with things to do at all hours. Now that I’ve had my fun, I’ve realized that it’s time for me to leave this place. Just because I’m still young it doesn’t mean I need to be in a big city going out all the time. An age is just a number and you should never feel like you HAVE to live your life a certain way.

    When I was 19 I got diagnosed with OCD and since then I’ve had an eating disorder and som physical health issues. These past few years have been a struggle trying to not stress over daily life. I’ve always been attracted to quiet towns with nature and good old mannerisms. Since I was younger, living in the south has been a dream of mine. About a year ago I decided I was not happy and it was time for me to put my health first. This is when I made it a plan and goal to move. Since then I have been working extremely hard trying to get out of here to save my sanity. As grateful as I am for this city, I still hold a lot of resentment towards it. A lot of my anger and stress doesn’t get better when I am sitting in traffic or living with my family because trying to get a place out here is just ridiculous and not worth it. I’m definitely not the person who is willing to live with roommates. I need my space and I need a small city that doesn’t take over an hour to get across. It’s time for me to make a change.

    Since I decided to leave (which will be in a few weeks), I have gotten some positive responses and some negative. People really want to tear you down just because they might not get your decisions or when they are simply too afraid to do things themselves. I’ve decided to only listen to positive people and mainly just listen to myself. This is something I want to do and nothing anybody says will change that. I know what’s best for my happiness. Don’t forget that YOU MATTER. Your health relies so much on your happiness so please take care of yourself. Put yourself first. There is nothing wrong with that.

    Thank you for reading. I hope you will follow my moving journey with me. I will be posting about my road trip and moving into my first apartment by myself. Follow if you’d like to keep up.

    Until next time,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    What Those With Mental Illnesses Want You to Know.

    health, Uncategorized

    It’s crazy to even have to say this. In a world where some mental and physical illnesses are being ignored, it is so important to get the word out there about serious conditions. It just doesn’t seem fair to stay quiet because of what other people will think or because a subject is taboo. The only way to start accepting things and taking them seriously is by talking about them. By listening and showing compassion. No stranger to mental disorders, I’ve decided to write this post. I’m not ONLY writing this for others struggling, but for people who know someone with an illness and aren’t sure how to react. Here are a few things we’d like you to know.

    1. I don’t want you to relate, I want you to listen.

    2. I’m not expecting sympathy, I’m just tired of being looked at like I’m making it up.

    3. It’s not all in my head. It feels like I’ve lost control of everything.

    4. What I have is a health condition. There is a lot of science that backs it up. I cannot help the chemical imbalances in my brain.

    5. I DO NOT WANT THIS FOR MYSELF. Please, don’t tell me I’m making it up because I WANT something to be wrong with me

    I guess everyone deals with mental disorders a bit different. It’s really hard to express yourself when nobody believes you. We understand that you don’t really know how someone feels unless you are in their shoes. This doesn’t mean you can’t just listen and accept the situation for what it is. It was hard for me to accept this at first too, but when I realized there’s nothing I can do to go back and change it… that’s when I knew it was real. Despite the frustration and confusion, I do not and will not ever wish a mental disorder on even my worst enemy.

    Thank you for reading,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    Let The Resolutions Begin.

    lifestyle


    Believe it or not, it’s almost 2018 folks! I haven’t really been a resolution type of person lately. The last time I made resolutions was 4 years ago when I wrote them down and put them in a jar. A year later I opened it up and realized I had achieved almost ALL of my resolutions. I don’t know why I stopped. Maybe life just. got in the way. Now, I’m ready to set up some goals again, but realistic and without the pressure that comes with having a resolution. Here are a few things I hope to accomplish and will definitely be blogging my steps to accomplishing them! 

    1. Move to Nashville, TN: My most important goal has to be number one. I need to move to the place I feel the most at home. I’ve wanted this for so long and have taken the first few steps to get there (will blog about). 
    2. Start online classes: Scool is NOT my thing. I’ve always wanted to have my own gymnastics facility which you really don’t need school. However, I do want to learn and experience some other skills. This is why I’m turning to online courses.
    3. Pay off at least one credit card bill: Probably my most adult goal of next year. I feel like this will be pretty doable… hopefully.
    4. More self care: These past few months have been pretty tough. You know, just been busy with life. I haven’t been doing too well with looking after myself. Saying that, I’m going to take the initiative and take time for the little things in life. 

    These are my goals so far for next year. I’ll be blogging my journey to at least TRY to make these happen. Best of luck to you for your new year goals! 
    Until Next Time,

    Suzy [Fragile, yet fearless]

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    What’s wrong with me?!

    lifestyle

    Recently I decided to quit my job as I physically and mentally just can’t do it anymore. There are more reasons why I left, but those being the obvious. I have been a gymnastics coach for years now and this past year my body has been acting strange, aching, and hurting. My wrists have been a mess which has caused me to take a step back from my job. Other than that I’ve had a lot of strange symptoms like rapid heart beats, fatigue, getting light headed, and muscle weakness. I’ve gone to the doctor plenty of times and I’m slowly starting to get some tests done. I’ve made an appointment with a rheumatologist in December so hopefully that’ll give me some answers. This is has put a hold on a lot of things. I’m just too tired most of the time to stay productive. That’s mainly why I’m ready to figure out what’s going on!

    I quit my job without having another, but right now my patience just isn’t enough to be working with kids. It’s time for me to move on for a bit and find something else until I figure everything out. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing as I have a lot of bills to pay, but everything happens for a reason right? 
    Happy Thursday! 

    -Suzy [Fragile, yet fearless]

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    *Thumbnail made with the app Canva*

    I Love You London!

    travel


    After years of obsessing over the U.K. And the English culture, I finally had the chance to visit last year. I always wanted to go to the small towns in England and cities that most international visitors don’t go to. When I ended up in London I didn’t expect to like it much because sometimes a big city is just a big city. After spending some time there I realized I actually realized…
    I love London for

    Beautiful Architecture

    Coffee that’s actually good


    Views for days


    Afternoon Tea (Obviously)


    Sweets (had to bring back with me)!!!


    Public transportation that’s actually not bad

    And Shopping!!!



    I definitely plan on visiting again, but I’ll also be visiting other parts of England too! 
    Happy Weekend! 

    Suzy [Fragile, yet fearless]


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    Solo Travel Tips!

    Uncategorized

    Not too long ago I posted this blog about my experience traveling alone. Till this day I think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever had the privilege to do! I didn’t go out of the country or anything, but being on my own in states I had never been to was absolutely thrilling. Of course, traveling alone can be a bit pricey and scary, but here are some things I did that helped me out! 


    Find out how to get everywhere: this is an obvious, but important to figure out before your trip. Getting hotels with shuttles was a life saver for me. Especially if you are by yourself it is pretty safe because there are others using the shuttle as well. 

    TIP: In NYC I used the double deckers to get around. It was hop on hop off and it went around most major areas. I just used that as a taxi to get to my destinations. 

    Fun Fact: My hotel in Nashville had a shuttle to take me to downtown and back. I also met some awesome people on it. 

    Cheap airplane tickets: It has been said that tickets are cheaper on Tuesdays around 3pm. I looked up ticket prices for a while and realized the price difference during this time was in fact true. 

    TIP: Sometimes buying airplane tickets one way instead of round trip are actually cheaper. Do search both! 

    Pack light: I just took a carry on with me. Being by myself I didn’t want to be dealing with waiting for a checked bag and carrying all of that. 

    Fun Fact: I managed to fit 3 pairs of cowboy boots I bought from Nashville in my carry on. (I still don’t know how I did that)
    Always let someone know where you are: The world can be a scary place so just be safe and make sure at least one person knows where you are at your location.

    Hope this helps any solo travelers out there. Best of luck!!! I had the time of my life. 
    Safe travels,

    Suzy [Fragile, yet fearless]