Why I moved back home…AGAIN.

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Somehow I’m always back here again. I’ve written a couple of blog posts about moving out of state, coming back, and moving out again. In this one I am explaining why I am back.

This time a longer temporary move back home. The plan is to be here for another year and then officially move out FOR GOOD. After the last couple of tries, I am dedicated to make it happen in this next chapter.

Moving out of state was hard. Knowing absolutely no one and trying to make ends meet. The first time, I freaked out. Reality set in and I was really hard on myself. I cried for days and decided it was rushed. Moving back, I thought I would give other locations a try. My heart kept telling me Nashville was the place I needed to be. After spending a couple of months back home I decided to give it another go. Let’s just say finances weren’t on my side and I needed to make a realistic decision.

After working for a week and expecting to make it okay. I started to think about my future. By future, I meant my 30’s. The truth is I didn’t want to be a 30 year old in debt from credit cards that I spent too much on. Staying in Nashville meant using my credit the first couple of months as I had not saved up enough. Although I was desperate to move out due to a rocky home life, it wasn’t the best timing. I thought if I could live rent free for another year and pay off some debt, why not?

Almost two months later from returning and I’ve realized some old habits have come back to haunt me. Being home and just in this city in general gets me in a bad mood. I get angry a lot and have been feeling that sense of fight or flight again. This has made me take extra measures to stay away from old behaviors. Having the ability to take care of myself helps quite a bit. If I had to work all day to pay rent I know I wouldn’t have that chance.

Being at home isn’t the easiest, but it is the best thing for me at this point in my life. I think it’s important to stop comparing myself to others and just do what’s best for my future and PRESENT. That was the hardest thing to accept during this whole process.

If you’d like to see more of my posts, follow (fragile, yet fearless) to see a post every Monday and Friday!

Thanks for sticking around,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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Sometimes, being an adult is intimidating!

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  • Let’s face it, adulthood isn’t what we thought it would be like. Especially when you’re first starting to figure life out. Although it may seem like things are tough now, it won’t always be like this. Remember there is always still HOPE! I know it sounds cliche, but if you read my other posts you’ll see that I haven’t always had it easy. Although that’s been the case, I’m still here giving myself the chance to live the life I deserve. Oops, I didn’t mean to get so deep. Anyways… Don’t let these things stop you from getting where you want to be.
    1. Applying for a credit card: I definitely thought I would be great with my credit. At the beginning, I actually was. Then life happened and here we are. So, here’s what I learned that can lower your credit score: don’t apply for too many credit cards too early, and make sure not to spend more than 30% of your limit.
      Getting health insurance: Unfortunately having health issues out of the blue are pretty common. Whether a minor injury or more serious problems, it’s always best to make sure you’re covered! If money is an issue you can apply for more affordable coverage. Whatever the case, GET INSURANCE.
      Meeting new people: As an adult it can be harder yet easier to meet new people. You see in school, it’s easy to meet people because you’re stuck with them in the same class. As a working adult, you actually have to put in more effort to make new friends. I DO think it’s better to meet people as an adult because you can surround yourself with people you actually want to be around and not people you are obligated to be around. Look at the brighter side of it!
      Being accountable for yourself: I am referring to booking your own appointments and making sure you show up. What helps me is using my day off to call all the places I need to and schedule them. Afterwards, adding it to the calendar on my phone or writing it in a planner helps remind me to get there! Next thing you know, you are one responsible adult.

    Every period we go through in life will have it’s ups and downs, but it’s nice to know you aren’t alone. That’s why I wanted to write this, so others can avoid the mistakes I wasn’t told about. My best adulting advice: Things will only be as intimidating as you make them.

    If you have anything else to add, feel free to add them in the comments below!

    Thanks for reading,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    Thoughts on turning 25!

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    A while ago I wrote a blog post about my fear of getting older. It stemmed from a need to have my life together and not struggling to make ends meet. Turns out the 20’s aren’t “old”. It’s just the constant struggle of how to act, what age to act, and when to act a certain way. As anyone else, I’ve gone through a lot of changes this past year.

    A couple of days ago I turned 25 and now I see aging in a completely different light… well, sort of. Instead of fearing it, lately I’ve been excited to get older. Some of this still comes from the pressure of needing to have it all together. I’m hoping in 10 years I will be a lot more comfortable than I am now. You know, having a career and living in a city I love. I’ve decided to accept the 20’s for what they are. A learning period of mistakes, realizations, and understanding the what I want out of life. I don’t mean what I want to do or when I want to settle down. I mean doing things I love without second guessing myself. Crying when I want to cry, laughing when I want to laugh, and ignoring the voice in my head that tells me otherwise. It’s like a constant battle in my head with negative judgment. After moving and coming back home I’ve realized that things aren’t going to be easy. I need to push myself to allow myself to struggle because ultimately that’s how I will learn. Especially with all the health issues I’ve had to deal with, I know now I just need to GO FOR IT. Sometimes I might fall but at least I won’t have to be wondering what if.

    So whoever is reading this, embrace where you are now in life. Don’t worry about things that haven’t even happened yet. There is a reason why people tell you to not compare your life with anyone else’s.

    Thanks for stopping by,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    I’m Moving…Again. Ego aside.

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    One month ago I made a move to a new state. I lasted one week, cried for a long time, and came running back home. I came back with mixed feelings. Being in a your 20’s is a funny thing. Feeling like I needed to simply have my shit together so settling for a little less on my paycheck wasn’t cutting it for me. I got scared and thought rent would lead to more problems. After being home for a month now, I’ve decided I quit too early. I gave up on myself and was looking for comfort. Familiarity is my comfort. As much as I wanted to get out of my hometown, it was comfortable.

    It’s not easy trying new things. It’s not easy packing your whole life and starting a new way of life in a new city. Turns out, life isn’t easy. There are going to be many times where I will be placed into uncomfortable situations, but if I never am when will I grow?  This sounded less cheesier in my head. Point is, I need to fight for what I want. I need to work hard and put my pride aside. I will have plenty of time to be a business owner and live the life I’ve always wanted. In order to get that I need to work my face off right now so that in the future I can find new comfort and familiarity.  There is more to life than money and your career. How do I know this? Because after spending these past couple of years miserable in a city I once loved and dealing with various health problems, things become a bit more clear.

    If there is one thing you will take away from this blog I hope it is that everyone is fighting a battle. You are not alone. I’ve heard of so many experiences of people who tried to start over but had to face rejection, long hours, and life lessons to get to where they are now. Stop comparing your life to others on instagram and do what you need to do to make YOURSELF happy. It won’t always be what you want, but it will be what you will need. I hope that makes sense.

    Best of luck to you all!

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    I’m Back Home After “Attempting” To Move Out.

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    The past few years (before this blog) I have been going on and on about moving to Nashville. A couple of weeks ago I made the BIG move. Unfortunately, it didn’t go the way I had planned. I wrote this blog post while I was there and kind of touched on my frustrations. Coming from a cultural background where moving out is not a thing unless you are getting married, I really didn’t know much about what it is actually like. There is nothing I regret about giving moving a try because there is a lot that I realized. I am currently home for about a month because there are a few things I need to sort out before I make the move again. As much as I love Nashville, it might not be the place for me at this point in my life. Do I see myself buying a house there when I’m ready to settle down? I think so, but for now I’m ready to put other things first.

    The 20’s are a time to be adventourous and make stupid mistakes without having too many priorities. My dream is to one day open up my own gymnastics facility, but to have my own business I wouldn’t have the freedom to move or travel as much. This is why now is my time to explore that side of life.

    What I realized:

    I would rather have a financially stable job right now and give a new city a try than live in the city if my dreams paycheck to paycheck.

    Since I was a teen I’ve always put my goals for my career first (partly because of my ocd). I guess not much has changed about that. Before I moved I was willing to settle for a job that maybe didn’t pay so much, but as long as I was in my favorite city everything would be alright. It turns out if I can’t make enough to explore and do all the things I love in that city, than what is the point?

    All in all maybe this wasn’t the right time for me to move to Nashville, but I’m not giving up on moving. I’ve already applied to some other cities and am looking forward to my next adventure.

    Have you had any unexpected experiences when moving away?

    Thanks for stopping by,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    Two days in a new city. (I MOVED OUT!)

    lifestyle

    Like I mentioned in previous posts, I decided to move from Los Angeles, CA to Nashville, TN. I have been here for about 2 1/2 days doing the whole job hunting/apartment hunting craze. It was great when I first got here because I was just excited to even be here. Now…I’m starting to lose my cool.

    This is my first time being on my own so having to deal with rent to income ratio is STRESSING ME OUT. I’m in a new city trying to figure it all out, but I know I never will. After visiting a couple of places and making sure they are close proximity to some potential jobs makes it that much more challenging. I’ve been here before, but I guess I never realized how spread out things really are. I’m trying to sort this all out without running back home crying that I couldn’t do it. What makes it harder is that my mom is here with me so I feel like I almost need to validate why I CAN do this.

    After viewing a few places and almost deciding on a job, I have decided to lower my rent budget a bit and look at surrounding areas as well. My “job” is in a different town so I feel like being a bit more flexible with my options will be a lot more helpful. I just need to remind myself that everything is temporary and if I don’t like a certain apartment, I don’t have to be there forever. It’s hard adjusting to a new place so far from home, but I am still excited for what’s yet to come. (And a little terrified).

    Have a good rest of the week,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    These really DON’T matter in adulthood.

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    As a teenager or young adult a lot of us think that whatever we decide or do now is going to live on with us forever! Growing up, I’ve realized that this in fact is NOT true. I spent many days stressing over things that honestly weren’t and still aren’t a big deal. Maybe it’s getting more comfortable with who I am or maybe people just become a lot more sensible in adulthood (one can hope).  If you are a teen reading this, I want to ease you with some of the things you might be going through. The truth of the matter is that whatever you are going through you probably won’t even remember a couple years from now. Don’t worry, I’m here to make life a bit easier for you and let you know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me, these don’t and shouldn’t matter!

    1. How many social gatherings you attend: This does not determine your cool factor.
    2. What “click” you should hangout with: Majority of people don’t really stay friends.
    3. How much you spend on materialistic items: Oh trust me, life gets more expensive.
    4. Planning your elaborate future: Trust me when I say… nobody’s life will go exactly as planned.
    5. WHEN you have your first kiss or lose your virginity: Nobody is comparing numbers in adulthood. If they are, they have some serious growing up to do. Take your time and do things as you want to. Years from now if all is done, you’ll realize how big of a deal it isn’t and life just goes on. Trust me, you’re not missing out on anything (and my nickname was “prude” in high school)… I know what it’s like to be on both sides of things.

    The truth is everything comes with happiness. You’ll realize how little these things in life really are when you find your inner peace. You will start enjoying your life so much more that you won’t need a stamp of approval or reassurance for any of it. Of course, this all comes in time. Be patient with yourself…always.

    Thanks for stopping by,

    Suzy

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    What a LIE!

    lifestyle

    brunch

    Alright everyone if there is one thing you should know about me, it is that I cannot bite my tongue. I personally think there are times to lie, but if someone crosses me there’s also a time to let it all out! Growing up we are told some things matter and some things don’t. We are expected to act a certain way and made to believe our world is going to end if one thing doesn’t go our way. Well, here I am to call out all the bullshit we are told when we were younger.

    Parties: If you party hard or not chances are you won’t even remember most of it. There will be plenty of parties when you’re older so if you think you’re missing out, there’s nothing to miss.

    Boyfriends/Girlfriends: Raise your hand if you keep in touch with two or more people you went to high school with? Yeah I didn’t there would be many. The people you’re trying to impress by being in a relationship aren’t going to be even a tiny part of your life a couple years down the line. Also, if you’re super against being in a relationship, be against one because you really are and not because you’re trying to avoid your feelings.

    Career Choices: YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IN HIGH SCHOOL. You probably won’t even know half way through college or maybe even after college. There are going to be so many times where you question your decisions, interests, hair color, makeup, clothes…. hopefully you catch my drift here. The pressure people give you to figure it all out is absolute BULLSHIT. Take as much time or as little time as YOU need.

    Education: I’m going to do a whole separate post on all the crap we are told in school, but for now here’s this. Getting a great GPA or taking the most honors classes doesn’t give or take a degree. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “C’s get degree”. Simply because that is the truth. Your health isn’t worth the extra credit points. Your self esteem isn’t worth the A. Hey if you want to get those straight A’s, go for it! I’m just trying to say that it doesn’t change who you are at the end of the day.

    Be kind and be yourself!

    -Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    That one time in Portland.

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    A few months ago I went on a trip to Portland, Oregon. Ever since then I’ve been trying to get this blog post up, but I wasn’t able to upload my pictures. Well, the pictures are here now! Being from California we hear a lot about Portland. We get told it’s a city filled with “hipsters” and is super quirky. To be honest, when I first got there I wasn’t that impressed. It was a lot like where I’m from so it wasn’t much of a different experience. However I grew to love certain neighborhoods and now find myself missing Portland a lot. From the beauty of the trees to the most amazing food. Here are a few of my favorite places in the city of weird.

    Neighborhood: Alberta

    A very artsy and youthful neighborhood with lots to do. Alberta not only has cool murals on the walls, but a couple of the streets are just filled with things to do. There’s small and unique stores for shopping and tasty places to eat at. My favorite spot there is definitely Salt & Straw for ice cream. Don’t pass up this awesome neighborhood if you’re ever near Portland.

    Coffee: Cathedral and Dutch Bros

    I am not going to lie. For the city that’s supposed to be all about it’s coffee, I was not that impressed. I am quite picky about my coffee and really only like iced drinks to be fair. There were a couple of places I did enjoy though. Cathedral coffeehouse can be found in the St. Johns neighborhood and let me just tell ya…I LOVE the chocolate chip cookies there. The coffee was quite tasty and the decor stood out too. Another coffee house which is a coffee chain is Dutch Bros. Not only is it affordable, but they have lots of unique flavors of coffee as well. It’s hard to get disappointed there.

    Scenery: Forest Park and

    One of the best things about Portland is that it is pretty much surrounded by trees. That was the first thing I noticed at least. I knew I had to go hiking when I was planning my trip, so I definitely made time for it. I went on a hike around Forest Park. The hike itself isn’t very difficult so you are able to take in the beauty of scenery there. With extremely tall trees I mean who wouldn’t want to break out into an impromptu photoshoot?!

    Food:

    Okay this part was definitely the BEST part of my trip, haha! The food in this city is brilliant! Pine State Biscuits serves some of the best southern food from a non southern state. Plus side is it’s is also located in my favorite neighborhood, Alberta. One of the places I ate at the most was Grassa. It is a casual pasta cafe. You order then sit, so when you’re ordering do yourself a favor and get the garlic bread. If you’re looking for a small plates option Tasty n Sons. Everything I got from there was delicious! As for dessert, Voodoo donuts is your best bet despite the long line. I’d say it’s worth the hype. Lastly, I can’t forget the food markets. I went to a really small one, but still found some awesome food and fresh drinks. Food markets have to be on your to do list for sure!

    I hope this post gives you some ideas if you plan on visiting the city of Portland. If not, I hope it gives you the travelling bug like it did me…oops.

    Happy Weekend,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    What I learned last year.

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    Welcome to 2018! I’m a bit late, but hey it’s still the first week. I posted this blog post about my goals for 2018, but I think it can be useful to mention what I learned this past year. So with no cool introduction, here’s what I learned not to do and to do in 2017.

    • You can’t plan everything.
    • Stop thinking so hard about things. It’ll work out the way it’s meant to.
    • Enough of trying to please others and do what makes you happy.
    • There is no perfect age for anything.
    • Recovery isn’t always going to be as easy as it is right now.
    • It’s alright to ask for help.

    I think as humans we need to sometimes learn from one another. I know I like to hear about others experiences as it makes me views things in a different way. Although 2017 might’ve not been the easiest year ever, it was one filled with discovery and values. I’m excited to see what I learn about this year!
     Sending positivity your way for 2018,

    -Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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