Why I moved back home…AGAIN.

lifestyle, Uncategorized

Somehow I’m always back here again. I’ve written a couple of blog posts about moving out of state, coming back, and moving out again. In this one I am explaining why I am back.

This time a longer temporary move back home. The plan is to be here for another year and then officially move out FOR GOOD. After the last couple of tries, I am dedicated to make it happen in this next chapter.

Moving out of state was hard. Knowing absolutely no one and trying to make ends meet. The first time, I freaked out. Reality set in and I was really hard on myself. I cried for days and decided it was rushed. Moving back, I thought I would give other locations a try. My heart kept telling me Nashville was the place I needed to be. After spending a couple of months back home I decided to give it another go. Let’s just say finances weren’t on my side and I needed to make a realistic decision.

After working for a week and expecting to make it okay. I started to think about my future. By future, I meant my 30’s. The truth is I didn’t want to be a 30 year old in debt from credit cards that I spent too much on. Staying in Nashville meant using my credit the first couple of months as I had not saved up enough. Although I was desperate to move out due to a rocky home life, it wasn’t the best timing. I thought if I could live rent free for another year and pay off some debt, why not?

Almost two months later from returning and I’ve realized some old habits have come back to haunt me. Being home and just in this city in general gets me in a bad mood. I get angry a lot and have been feeling that sense of fight or flight again. This has made me take extra measures to stay away from old behaviors. Having the ability to take care of myself helps quite a bit. If I had to work all day to pay rent I know I wouldn’t have that chance.

Being at home isn’t the easiest, but it is the best thing for me at this point in my life. I think it’s important to stop comparing myself to others and just do what’s best for my future and PRESENT. That was the hardest thing to accept during this whole process.

If you’d like to see more of my posts, follow (fragile, yet fearless) to see a post every Monday and Friday!

Thanks for sticking around,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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Simple tips for domestic flights!

travel

The only good thing about flying red eye is this picture I got of the sunset.

Hello, everyone! Welcome to another day and another travel post from me. To tell you the truth, I actually enjoy flying. Am I the only one? After my summer that consisted of me constantly in the air, I thought I would give a run down of my favorite U.S. airlines!

Did you know you can be part of a member points program for free? Obviously you need to buy flight tickets to get points, but you don’t need to get the credit cards they are always offering! Because of this I am a member of 3 of my favorite airlines mentioned below:

3. Southwest Airlines

Southwest takes my number 3 spot due to the amount of flights it offers and the affordibility! It is a great quick getaway airline. You don’t get to choose your seats ahead of time, but check in early and you can choose a great seat when you board. Another perk, you can change your flight for FREE! Trust me, this comes in handy.

2. Alaska Airlines

Alaska is one of the comfortable airlines. You never have to worry about being squished between people with them. The great thing about Alaska is that it is usually really clean and nice inside. I once sat on a 30 minute flight and was on an aircraft with individual TV screens. It was great! Even without, they are a great airline.

1. JetBlue

Taking the number one spot to be JetBlue. It is definitely the more luxurious option from the other two I mentioned. Inside is spacious and clean! The only downside to JetBlue is that it is more of an east coast airline, so some can’t always enjoy the benefits of this airline.

Let me know if you have a favorite airline not mentioned above!

If you’d like to see more of my posts, follow (fragile, yet fearless) to see a post every Monday and Friday!

Safe Travels,

Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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Sometimes, being an adult is intimidating!

lifestyle, Uncategorized
  • Let’s face it, adulthood isn’t what we thought it would be like. Especially when you’re first starting to figure life out. Although it may seem like things are tough now, it won’t always be like this. Remember there is always still HOPE! I know it sounds cliche, but if you read my other posts you’ll see that I haven’t always had it easy. Although that’s been the case, I’m still here giving myself the chance to live the life I deserve. Oops, I didn’t mean to get so deep. Anyways… Don’t let these things stop you from getting where you want to be.
    1. Applying for a credit card: I definitely thought I would be great with my credit. At the beginning, I actually was. Then life happened and here we are. So, here’s what I learned that can lower your credit score: don’t apply for too many credit cards too early, and make sure not to spend more than 30% of your limit.
      Getting health insurance: Unfortunately having health issues out of the blue are pretty common. Whether a minor injury or more serious problems, it’s always best to make sure you’re covered! If money is an issue you can apply for more affordable coverage. Whatever the case, GET INSURANCE.
      Meeting new people: As an adult it can be harder yet easier to meet new people. You see in school, it’s easy to meet people because you’re stuck with them in the same class. As a working adult, you actually have to put in more effort to make new friends. I DO think it’s better to meet people as an adult because you can surround yourself with people you actually want to be around and not people you are obligated to be around. Look at the brighter side of it!
      Being accountable for yourself: I am referring to booking your own appointments and making sure you show up. What helps me is using my day off to call all the places I need to and schedule them. Afterwards, adding it to the calendar on my phone or writing it in a planner helps remind me to get there! Next thing you know, you are one responsible adult.

    Every period we go through in life will have it’s ups and downs, but it’s nice to know you aren’t alone. That’s why I wanted to write this, so others can avoid the mistakes I wasn’t told about. My best adulting advice: Things will only be as intimidating as you make them.

    If you have anything else to add, feel free to add them in the comments below!

    Thanks for reading,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    I Relapsed. *Eating Disorder Content*

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    Let’s awkwardly forget that I haven’t blogged for over a month. This month DID bring a lot of unfortunate events into my life. So, now I have a lot to say and feel like this is the safe place to do it. Calling the internet safe? I might regret this.

    When people hear the word relapse, they mostly think of addiction. The type of addiction that comes with drugs and alcohol. The relapse I’m talking about has to do with eating disorders. I almost went two years without purposely having behaviors since I got discharged from treatment. What does “purposely” mean? Well, I’ve gone times where I’ve skipped a meal hear and there, but it wasn’t because I wanted to. Sometimes life gets busy and I can’t eat at the same exact time I did the day before. These past few days were a bit different. I intentionally decided to restrict for a couple of days because I felt like I had no control of how much I ate. For most people an eating disorder is a way to gain control and I guess I never understood that, until now.

    I wrote this blog post about moving away regardless of what it took. I did end up attempting to move out of state again, but found myself back at home for a second time. Moving back meant taking  another year to fully prepare myself before I decide to go again. In a lot of ways coming back was the worst yet best thing for me now. In a lot of way I felt like my life was all over the place because I couldn’t do exactly what I wanted now. I had to settle on what I needed to do. This is where the eating disorder came into play. It was the only thing I was able to have control of. It almost felt like it was a choice. During the days I restricted I felt angry, got easily irritated, and I was exhausted. On the final day I had one of the worst migraines I’ve ever had. It was so bad that it made me fear restricting. A blessing in disguise that made me realize I NEVER want to feel like the way I did when I had an active eating disorder. I don’t want to be that person ever again.

    A week later and I am back on track on the road of recovery. I’m controlling how much and how little I eat. It’s the good kind of control. I’ve started taking care of myself and I’m happy with the way things are going right now. It also helped going to a support group not long after my relapse. If you are someone who is recovering from an eating disorder, please don’t be hard on yourself. That will only make things worse. There is no such thing as a step back in recovery. Everything you go through is a lesson that will only make you stronger.

    If you or anyone you know is in recovery or has an eating disorder, you can find help here: 

    National Eating Disorders Association

    Take care of yourself,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    Eating disorders are MORE than just a NUMBER.

    mental health, Uncategorized

    *There may be some sensitive content for some viewers. Information/details on eating disorders.*

    I dealt with an eating disorder for 10 years. Most of the time I had disordered eating patterns, but all of the time I had body image issues. I know people who haven’t experienced an eating disorder or recovery may think that it all just revolves around the number. The more weight you lose the worse your disorder actually is. In fact, this is why I didn’t think I had an eating disorder until my 10th year of dealing with it. I’m glad there is more talk on mental health so I would like to just touch up on some things that may come along with an eating disorder.

    • It is a mental health issue: This isn’t just a physical problem. There is a chemical imbalance in ones brain which causes them to think and feel different. Of course this then can lead to physical problems. Some of which include an unhealthy weight, poor dental hygiene, bone issues, heart issues, and etc.
    • Body dysmorphia is part of an eating disorder: The way one thinks about themselves is very important to identifying an eating disorder. I personally pictured myself very different in my head compared to how I really looked in person. It can also be an obsession with physical experience that can take up most of a persons time.
    • There are many different types of an eating disorder: Speaking from my own experience, I had binge eating disorder. What this meant is that I would spend days not eating full meals and then decided to eating everything in site in one day. Along with this I had obsessive thoughts about my appearance.
    • You don’t have to be at a certain weight to have an eating disorder: Everybody’s body is different. This means everyone will have a healthy body weight that may not be the same as the person next to them. My weight fluctuated a lot, but I was never really thin or really overweight. I looked healthy so I thought I was. This is what I meant by it being a mental illness. Just because someone doesn’t look sick doesn’t mean they aren’t.

    I hope this gives a little insight on eating disorders. Please feel free to share your own thoughts or anything I might’ve left out in the comments below. If you or anyone you know might be suffering with an eating disorder, check out the website below for some more information:

    National Eating Disorders Association

    Thank you for reading,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    Thoughts on turning 25!

    lifestyle, Uncategorized

    A while ago I wrote a blog post about my fear of getting older. It stemmed from a need to have my life together and not struggling to make ends meet. Turns out the 20’s aren’t “old”. It’s just the constant struggle of how to act, what age to act, and when to act a certain way. As anyone else, I’ve gone through a lot of changes this past year.

    A couple of days ago I turned 25 and now I see aging in a completely different light… well, sort of. Instead of fearing it, lately I’ve been excited to get older. Some of this still comes from the pressure of needing to have it all together. I’m hoping in 10 years I will be a lot more comfortable than I am now. You know, having a career and living in a city I love. I’ve decided to accept the 20’s for what they are. A learning period of mistakes, realizations, and understanding the what I want out of life. I don’t mean what I want to do or when I want to settle down. I mean doing things I love without second guessing myself. Crying when I want to cry, laughing when I want to laugh, and ignoring the voice in my head that tells me otherwise. It’s like a constant battle in my head with negative judgment. After moving and coming back home I’ve realized that things aren’t going to be easy. I need to push myself to allow myself to struggle because ultimately that’s how I will learn. Especially with all the health issues I’ve had to deal with, I know now I just need to GO FOR IT. Sometimes I might fall but at least I won’t have to be wondering what if.

    So whoever is reading this, embrace where you are now in life. Don’t worry about things that haven’t even happened yet. There is a reason why people tell you to not compare your life with anyone else’s.

    Thanks for stopping by,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    I’m Moving…Again. Ego aside.

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    One month ago I made a move to a new state. I lasted one week, cried for a long time, and came running back home. I came back with mixed feelings. Being in a your 20’s is a funny thing. Feeling like I needed to simply have my shit together so settling for a little less on my paycheck wasn’t cutting it for me. I got scared and thought rent would lead to more problems. After being home for a month now, I’ve decided I quit too early. I gave up on myself and was looking for comfort. Familiarity is my comfort. As much as I wanted to get out of my hometown, it was comfortable.

    It’s not easy trying new things. It’s not easy packing your whole life and starting a new way of life in a new city. Turns out, life isn’t easy. There are going to be many times where I will be placed into uncomfortable situations, but if I never am when will I grow?  This sounded less cheesier in my head. Point is, I need to fight for what I want. I need to work hard and put my pride aside. I will have plenty of time to be a business owner and live the life I’ve always wanted. In order to get that I need to work my face off right now so that in the future I can find new comfort and familiarity.  There is more to life than money and your career. How do I know this? Because after spending these past couple of years miserable in a city I once loved and dealing with various health problems, things become a bit more clear.

    If there is one thing you will take away from this blog I hope it is that everyone is fighting a battle. You are not alone. I’ve heard of so many experiences of people who tried to start over but had to face rejection, long hours, and life lessons to get to where they are now. Stop comparing your life to others on instagram and do what you need to do to make YOURSELF happy. It won’t always be what you want, but it will be what you will need. I hope that makes sense.

    Best of luck to you all!

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    More travel tips (for beginners)!

    Uncategorized

    Hello everyone reading this 🙂

    If you’re new here, I have a thing for traveling. Lately I even tried to move to another state…oh and I’m still attempting to move. The truth is no matter how many times you spend packing your bags or at the airport, there is always something new you learn. Here are a few things I’ve picked up these past years.

    1. Checked Bags: As far as domestic flights go, Southwest is the only airline that will allow two FREE checked bags. However, if you are alone and plan on having more bags, it is $75 for the third so you just end up paying the same as another airline.
    2. Frequent Flyer Points: I never knew how simple it was to join a frequent flyer program. I have accounts with both Southwest and Alaska Airlines for FREE. This isn’t the same as a credit card, but I do still get points each time I fly with them. Yes, you can get points from Expedia purchases as well.
    3. Download Your Airlines App: Every airline has an app these days so make sure you have it before you take off. This makes it easier as you can not only have flight information sent to you in case something changes, but you can also check in when the time comes!
    4. Check Your Bags In On Time: I actually didn’t know this because I rarely check bags, but arrive AT LEAST 45 minutes before boarding to check your bags in. I was running late one time and checked my bags in 30 minutes prior to boarding and has a risk of getting them late. Fortunately, it worked out fine this time!
    5. Print Your Boarding Pass: We live in a time where everything is done electronically. As great as it is to have your boarding pass on your phone, I think it is still important to print it as well. Technology lets us down and sometimes we might let ourselves down and drop our phones. Just be safe and have an extra form of a boarding pass on hand.

    Have fun on your next adventure! Let me know if you are going on any trip this summer in the comments below!!!

    -Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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    Here are 5 Affirmations to help you get through the day…

    mental health

    5

     

    If you’ve seen previous blog posts of mine, you know I’ve had my fair share of mental and physical illnesses. One thing that helps me are affirmations to remind me to accept myself and encourage me to keep fighting. If you don’t know what an affirmation is, it is a saying that offers emotional support. I used to use affirmations as my phone wallpaper so I could see it anytime I grabbed my phone. Another way to support yourself with affirmations is to tape them on your mirror or wall, so you will see them often. If you need some positive affirmations to lift you up; I have provided 5 that I personally find useful.

     

    I let go of all the lies I tell myself.Be patient with yourselfI am enough.I am doing the best that I can and that is enough.I forgive myself.

     

    If you have any affirmations you’d like to share, please comment them below!

     

     

    Thanks for reading,

    Suzy

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    I’m Back Home After “Attempting” To Move Out.

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    The past few years (before this blog) I have been going on and on about moving to Nashville. A couple of weeks ago I made the BIG move. Unfortunately, it didn’t go the way I had planned. I wrote this blog post while I was there and kind of touched on my frustrations. Coming from a cultural background where moving out is not a thing unless you are getting married, I really didn’t know much about what it is actually like. There is nothing I regret about giving moving a try because there is a lot that I realized. I am currently home for about a month because there are a few things I need to sort out before I make the move again. As much as I love Nashville, it might not be the place for me at this point in my life. Do I see myself buying a house there when I’m ready to settle down? I think so, but for now I’m ready to put other things first.

    The 20’s are a time to be adventourous and make stupid mistakes without having too many priorities. My dream is to one day open up my own gymnastics facility, but to have my own business I wouldn’t have the freedom to move or travel as much. This is why now is my time to explore that side of life.

    What I realized:

    I would rather have a financially stable job right now and give a new city a try than live in the city if my dreams paycheck to paycheck.

    Since I was a teen I’ve always put my goals for my career first (partly because of my ocd). I guess not much has changed about that. Before I moved I was willing to settle for a job that maybe didn’t pay so much, but as long as I was in my favorite city everything would be alright. It turns out if I can’t make enough to explore and do all the things I love in that city, than what is the point?

    All in all maybe this wasn’t the right time for me to move to Nashville, but I’m not giving up on moving. I’ve already applied to some other cities and am looking forward to my next adventure.

    Have you had any unexpected experiences when moving away?

    Thanks for stopping by,

    Suzy [fragile, yet fearless]

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